


equilibrium

by carnyvale



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24133102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carnyvale/pseuds/carnyvale
Summary: They are vastly different, yet oddly the same.
Relationships: Kuchiki Rukia/Kurosaki Ichigo
Kudos: 11





	equilibrium

**Author's Note:**

> an old favourite fic from ff.net. :) slowly transferring the few pieces i love because i feel like coming back to my animanga roots.

.

His mother always had a bright smile, almost as bright as the sun itself, and just as much warmth. His small hand fitted perfectly inside the firm curl of her slender fingers, and Ichigo looked up at Misaki, smiling over the collar of his raincoat as the rain tapped a consistent rhythm of _drip, drip, drip_ on his umbrella. He shifted around to stare at a puddle of dirty water, at the weird, distorted reflection of his face on the murky surface.

That was when he saw _her_.

Jet black hair whipped around her pale face like frenzied wisps of shadows, as she stood motionless, dangerously close to the river. He stopped to stare at her, because she was looking into the rushing current of dark water with an intensity that frightened him. Her eyes frightened him. _She looked… looked like_ … Someone tugged at his hand, and Ichigo turned to his mother, cold sweat streaking down his forehead. The fingers around his hand loosened, as Misaki smiled questioningly at her son.

Ichigo wrenched his hand free in a flash of impulsive decision and ran towards the girl.

_She looked like…_

He almost slipped because of the muddy ground, but Ichigo kept running. Running towards the girl with scary eyes and panting, gasping for air. His lungs burnt, making it harder to breathe. The rain pelted his face in vengeance, as if asking him to stop, to go back underneath that safe umbrella with his mother's warmth surrounding him and walk away. Just walk away and never look back. He could hear Misaki's faint, surprised exclamation but he couldn't stop. But he couldn't. The girl was only a few feet away… just a few feet away and… and…

And then, she pitched forward.

_She looked like… like…_

Ichigo's eyes widened in fear.

… _Death._

Crimson blood mingled with the rain, trailing in tiny rivulets into the murky river as the rain continued to fall.

The girl in white had disappeared, just like a shadow from his imagination.

**.**

_"This man, he is important to you, isn't he?"_

Black blank eyes sneered at her from the endless abyss within; the mouth that used to curve in an inviting, cheerful smile had morphed into a much-too-wide toothy grin. Rukia stood rigid under the heavy curtain of rain, her hair sticking to her cold and clammy skin at the most uncomfortable of places. The creature before her, the creature that was advancing towards her in a teasingly steady pace was definitely not Kaien-dono, not the Kaien-dono that she knew…

…Not the Kaien-dono that she adored from afar.

Ukitake-taichou's voice echoed somewhere at the back of her mind, coiling around the hums of Shirayuki's distress and the steady beat of rain. Her hands shook as she pointed her zanpakutou at the nearing figure, pushing back the overwhelming urge to retch as she looked straight into eyes unlike Kaien-dono's. The chill that ran down her spine was not something that the rain should be credited for. The creature beckoned at her with its fingers, its tongue slithering out and touching the rain drops like a live snake.

Not Kaien-dono, no. Just a shadow that shouldn't exist.

Shirayuki cried soundlessly into the night, her silver blade piercing and shredding through bones, sinew, muscles, hopes and dreams.

The chill intensified, as Kaien-dono's weight pinned her onto the slippery ground, her hands warm with his blood and his last breath caressed the cold nape of her neck.

Shadows didn't bleed or breathe.

Rukia inhaled sharply, like someone had also run a blade through her stomach.

_"Thank you… Rukia."_

The rain tasted like salt on her tongue.

.

Ichigo looked up at the parade of black clouds on the sky, as it began to rain again. He cradled a sleeping Yuzu to his chest, frowning underneath the start of another downpour. His three-year old sister snuggled closer, tiny fingers tightly fisted around his shirt. His frown deepened as he lowered the umbrella a bit. Another umbrella, one that had disappeared on the day of his mother's death, came into his mind. Ichigo glanced at the river, still fast and unchanging. Yuzu shifted slightly against his chest, and murmured something unintelligible.

He cast one last glance at the murky water, and turned to head back home.

_Mother… I'm sorry. It's all my fault…_

.

The rain had lingered since that day onwards, and each drop of water that pattered onto the wooden window sill resounded like countless canon shots to her sensitive ears, even when the sky was clear and cloudless. Rukia lay awake underneath stifling blankets, shaking and sweating in her own sleepless nightmares, where blood and blades and blank eyes and rain mingled into a mix of confusion and horrible remorse and she couldn't help losing a bit of herself along the way. The flicker from a single lit candle caught her attention, and she remembered Kaien-dono's fire-like life force.

The rain had cruelly extinguished that fire that day.

Rukia closed her eyes and burrowed deeper into the cold heat.

_Kaien-dono… I'm sorry. It's all my fault…_

.

A black butterfly fluttered by in front of him, and Ichigo, contemplating on the sudden existence of the delicate insect inside his room, saw Death itself for the second time in his lifetime. He froze, eyes widening and veins throbbing.

She was like a shadow; silent, dark and deadly. Poised to kill.

Beautiful.

And like all shadows, she brought something dreadful with her presence.

Aside from her drawing, of course.

The monster was big and ugly, but Ichigo was used to everything big and ugly. His seniors weren't exactly the best looking bunch in the school. He had half the mind to just stay the hell out of the impending mayhem, before he saw Karin by the doorway. The bold, strong-headed Karin, with blood on her face and erratic gasps on her lips and worries for _him_. And Yuzu; small, brave Yuzu, murmuring, on the hard, asphalt road, in between consciousness to warn him away, to _protect_ him from the monster.

Blood rained his face in specks of warm liquid, as Death denied him death.

_Protect them. His family. Her, the shadow of shadows. Protect them, because he failed to protect a precious person years ago._

Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut when the blade slide into his abdomen, anticipating the pain that never comes.

Death's large, anxious eyes were the last thing he saw as white fire roared through his veins, pouring in tidal waves from his pores and enveloping him in a sheer cocoon of raw power.

_He won't fail. Not again._

.

The boy could see her.

Rukia knew that she shouldn't have felt so surprised, because they had been taught in the Academy of the existence of human with strong enough spirit force that allowed them to see what normal people couldn't.

But they shouldn't be allowed physical contact with any incorporeal beings.

Her behind throbbed from his rude (and absolutely unnecessary) greeting.

She was used to being ignored when she was in the Mortal Plane, used to be the invisible phantom, the fleeting shadow that swept into homes without being acknowledged, and annihilated dangerous, unseen pests. But when she saw his disbelief, his grim realization that she was real and she was _there_ , Rukia had to quell the uncharacteristic laughter bubbling in her throat.

It was as hard as choking back screams of pain from being chomped on by a gigantic set of teeth.

It was as hard as asking a mere human teenager to shoulder a responsibility that was supposed to be hers.

It was as hard as watching Shirayuki sank into _another_ abdomen and feeling the presence of her zanpakutou fade in a single cry.

Rukia clutched at the large, bleeding gash on her arm and bit her lower lip.

But not as hard as knowing that she had failed to protect once again.

The dense smoke began dispersing into scattered clouds of grey.

_Protect them, Kurosaki Ichigo. Protect them._

_Do not fail. Please._

.

The rain hadn't stopped that day, but there were less black clouds and more sunlight since.

And maybe one day, just _maybe_ … the rain would stop forever.

.

_"It's not 'shinigami'. It's Kuchiki Rukia."_

_"I see… I'm Kurosaki Ichigo."_

.

**end**

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